Well, ladies and gentlemen, I've made it past the "critical" period of my treatment! My stomach is still tight and I'm still not very energetic, but I have, by the grace of God, made it through this part of the transplant process. The doctor took me off of one particularly nasty drug on Wednesday, and I hope that I can recover from its effects soon. My immune system, and platelets, and other counts were at a low point this week, still not low enough to require transfusions, but lower than they should be. My counts had been steadily dropping for 2 months, primarily because of this one drug, but now that I'm off of it, things should begin to recover. What we're hoping and praying for is that I don't develop any graft-versus-host disease symptoms, considering that's what the drug which I'm not taking anymore was preventing. Although the doctor says I should recover much better now, not having to take that drug anymore, it feels like she kicked the crutches out from under me. Or, in a less violent metaphor, she took my training wheels off. My body must now learn to function with my new immune system, and it must harmonize within itself. I pray God grant me strength to become whole again, and I pray in communion with the Blessed Virgin, all the angels and saints, and especially with you, my loved ones, who have been so wonderful to offer your prayers on my behalf.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Three Months Out
I started this blog so that my loved ones could keep up with my progress as I underwent this difficult procedure. Since my last post, very little has happened in the way of news. Most of you also keep up with me and my family by direct contact over the phone, and for that I thank you. However, I felt that an update of some sorts was in order considering what will be happening in the next couple of months.
I continue to take two immune suppressing drugs, an anti-viral, an anti-fungal, and supplements, which are depleted in my condition, several times a day. I am rarely hungry because I'm always full of pills, but I'm trying to eat healthy when I do. Since being admitted back in February I have lost half of the weight I gained from taking steroids during my treatment years. Even though I've lost 30 pounds, I have another 30 to go before I can fit back into what I call my normal clothes, which are collecting dust back home in my closet. This is not vanity, though, and I'd like to stress how important it is for us to take care of our bodies no matter what shape we're in. Whether you're young or old, healthy or sick, exercise your body however you can because you only have the one, and it was designed for activity, not inactivity. So, get out there and do something today!
But before you do, please say a prayer for me as I will be having another bone marrow test this week. The drugs that I'm on have been making my blood counts drop steadily, especially my platelets, all month long and the doctor wants to check to make sure that the drugs aren't affecting the marrow, but only the peripheral blood.
Last Wednesday I was waiting for my labs in one of the hallways at MD Anderson, and I overheard a nurse asking another patient how he was feeling. He was a fit young Hispanic man in his early twenties who had a look like he played tennis regularly. He had only recently started his treatment for whatever cancer he had, and was wearing a headband to hide his bald head. He told the nurse that he was recovering well from his cardiac arrest. I was shocked when I heard this. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him for having gone through that, and at the same time feel fortunate that through all the crap the doctors have pumped through my body I haven't had any major organ failings myself, which is amazing considering how lazy I was all throughout college. I must have jogged a total of ten times, although I did use the gym more often than that, it obviously wasn't enough.
Nowadays I spend most of my day seated or laying down because I just don't have the energy to do much of anything else. I try to go walking at least once a day, but in all honesty, I am tired all day long. Today is day 81 and the doctor will reduce my medications substantially by day 100 if I continue to do well. Let's hope that's the case because I know that half of my lethargy is from the medications themselves. Not being able to do anything in public like go to the grocery store, mall, and other places also cuts back on my regular everyday type activities, which isn't good for my energy.
The good news is that I have been able to concentrate better. Perhaps by the time I get to go home for a month, at the end of June perhaps, I will be able to spend blocks of time studying like I used to.
I would also like your feedback on starting a family bible study. I know that many of you currently attend churches with this available to you, but I think that a more intimate setting at our home or some other family gathering place would be nice as well. Let me know what you think since I know that you are all busy people. God bless you, and thank you for your prayers.
I continue to take two immune suppressing drugs, an anti-viral, an anti-fungal, and supplements, which are depleted in my condition, several times a day. I am rarely hungry because I'm always full of pills, but I'm trying to eat healthy when I do. Since being admitted back in February I have lost half of the weight I gained from taking steroids during my treatment years. Even though I've lost 30 pounds, I have another 30 to go before I can fit back into what I call my normal clothes, which are collecting dust back home in my closet. This is not vanity, though, and I'd like to stress how important it is for us to take care of our bodies no matter what shape we're in. Whether you're young or old, healthy or sick, exercise your body however you can because you only have the one, and it was designed for activity, not inactivity. So, get out there and do something today!
But before you do, please say a prayer for me as I will be having another bone marrow test this week. The drugs that I'm on have been making my blood counts drop steadily, especially my platelets, all month long and the doctor wants to check to make sure that the drugs aren't affecting the marrow, but only the peripheral blood.
Last Wednesday I was waiting for my labs in one of the hallways at MD Anderson, and I overheard a nurse asking another patient how he was feeling. He was a fit young Hispanic man in his early twenties who had a look like he played tennis regularly. He had only recently started his treatment for whatever cancer he had, and was wearing a headband to hide his bald head. He told the nurse that he was recovering well from his cardiac arrest. I was shocked when I heard this. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him for having gone through that, and at the same time feel fortunate that through all the crap the doctors have pumped through my body I haven't had any major organ failings myself, which is amazing considering how lazy I was all throughout college. I must have jogged a total of ten times, although I did use the gym more often than that, it obviously wasn't enough.
Nowadays I spend most of my day seated or laying down because I just don't have the energy to do much of anything else. I try to go walking at least once a day, but in all honesty, I am tired all day long. Today is day 81 and the doctor will reduce my medications substantially by day 100 if I continue to do well. Let's hope that's the case because I know that half of my lethargy is from the medications themselves. Not being able to do anything in public like go to the grocery store, mall, and other places also cuts back on my regular everyday type activities, which isn't good for my energy.
The good news is that I have been able to concentrate better. Perhaps by the time I get to go home for a month, at the end of June perhaps, I will be able to spend blocks of time studying like I used to.
I would also like your feedback on starting a family bible study. I know that many of you currently attend churches with this available to you, but I think that a more intimate setting at our home or some other family gathering place would be nice as well. Let me know what you think since I know that you are all busy people. God bless you, and thank you for your prayers.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Getting the Weekend Off!
The doctor delivered some good news yesterday, the complete results from last week's bone marrow biopsy. My bone marrow shows no signs of disease or even minimum residual disease (yay!) and there is no evidence of chimerism in my marrow either! Chimerism [the first part pronounced like the word 'sky' minus the 's,' as in ky-myrrh (like the incense)-ism] is the detection of two different genetic profiles in one sample. So, the test is essentially telling me that all of my bone marrow is gone, and the only thing which is left are the stem cells from the donor, my mom's cells. There is no mixture of my cells and her cells, which is good because that means there are no competing forces for space and resources in my marrow. Her cells get carte blanche to make my blood from now on!
Seemingly, they have made a little more hemoglobin for me since Monday, so I've got a little more energy than I did this time last week. Although, my stomach still does not like being bombarded with hand-fulls of pills every other hour, which forces me to take it easy. The doctor is also going to stop the IV fluids altogether. The less time I spend at the hospital, the less I am exposed to people with infections and the like. So, this weekend I'm free from any tethered tubing from a pole, as a test, and next week I may even get a few days off from having to go to the hospital at all, except for lab-work and, of course, seeing the good doctor.
It appears that they have learned that patients recover better at home than if they had remained bed-ridden... Ah! Twenty-First Century advances! Now where's that barbecue sandwich from last night... oh no, wait, today's Friday, time for tuna fish sandwiches and Lay's potato chips!
Seemingly, they have made a little more hemoglobin for me since Monday, so I've got a little more energy than I did this time last week. Although, my stomach still does not like being bombarded with hand-fulls of pills every other hour, which forces me to take it easy. The doctor is also going to stop the IV fluids altogether. The less time I spend at the hospital, the less I am exposed to people with infections and the like. So, this weekend I'm free from any tethered tubing from a pole, as a test, and next week I may even get a few days off from having to go to the hospital at all, except for lab-work and, of course, seeing the good doctor.
It appears that they have learned that patients recover better at home than if they had remained bed-ridden... Ah! Twenty-First Century advances! Now where's that barbecue sandwich from last night... oh no, wait, today's Friday, time for tuna fish sandwiches and Lay's potato chips!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Like A Tortoise...
Strong and majestic, these animals lumber along slowly but surely, just like my blood counts. My blood counts have stabilized just shy of normal ranges for now. Of course, the doctor and my nurses all say that full recovery takes time and my counts are sure to keep going up. However, I, being an impatient patient, much prefer to see my counts go up now, to where they belong, and park there forever. Things just don't work that way though, so I must learn patience, again, it seems. I thought I had learned that one!
The biggest daily problem I now face is my terrible indigestion due to constant pill-popping. I take several drugs, several times a day, all throughout the day, and none of them sit well. So, I am constantly compensating with immodium and maalox, pepcid and zofran. I haven't taken a pain killer in almost two weeks though, because my muscles seem to be beginning to recover from the month in the hospital.
I am taking walks at night when nobody else is roaming the hallways. Tonight I hope to do three laps around my apartment complex which would make for a 15-20 minute walk. If I can accomplish that for a few nights in a row, I think I will then be ready for a half-hour session on a pool table. Most of you know my passion for the game, or that I played in college, but you might not know just how physically taxing serious practice can be. I think I'm going to buy a pedometer to keep track of the distance I walk while simply circling the pool table several hundred times during a session. The results will be interesting to say the least. Perhaps, after I can walk for 45 minutes, or practice pool for an hour, I will be ready to jump on a stationary bike or elliptical machine for a few minutes. It will be a while until I can jog, but that is my own personal physical therapy ultimate goal. When I go back home to El Paso, I hope very much to be able to use our elliptical machine and go for a jog around the neighborhood each and every day, you know, to keep the doctor away.
The biggest daily problem I now face is my terrible indigestion due to constant pill-popping. I take several drugs, several times a day, all throughout the day, and none of them sit well. So, I am constantly compensating with immodium and maalox, pepcid and zofran. I haven't taken a pain killer in almost two weeks though, because my muscles seem to be beginning to recover from the month in the hospital.
I am taking walks at night when nobody else is roaming the hallways. Tonight I hope to do three laps around my apartment complex which would make for a 15-20 minute walk. If I can accomplish that for a few nights in a row, I think I will then be ready for a half-hour session on a pool table. Most of you know my passion for the game, or that I played in college, but you might not know just how physically taxing serious practice can be. I think I'm going to buy a pedometer to keep track of the distance I walk while simply circling the pool table several hundred times during a session. The results will be interesting to say the least. Perhaps, after I can walk for 45 minutes, or practice pool for an hour, I will be ready to jump on a stationary bike or elliptical machine for a few minutes. It will be a while until I can jog, but that is my own personal physical therapy ultimate goal. When I go back home to El Paso, I hope very much to be able to use our elliptical machine and go for a jog around the neighborhood each and every day, you know, to keep the doctor away.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Results Are Good!
The final results from my bone marrow won't be in until next week, but the preliminary results look good! The cancer is nowhere to be seen and the graft looks like it's holding. My blood counts are up today as well with a platelet count of 108 [where 150-400 is normal], the first time it has been over 100 in 3 years! Hopefully, all this extra blood will help my body's healing powers as my new bone marrow cycles up production of healthy cells, and as I heal my bone marrow will be able to produce more healthy cells, and so forth. I'm not going to be jumping on the elliptical machine anytime soon, but I am already walking better and that's a good start.
The doctor took me off of my restricted no fresh fruit or vegetables diet, because my white blood cell count is stable at 3.0, so I'm gonna have an apple this afternoon to celebrate. My favorite apples are called Jazz Apples and they have the perfect blend of tangy and sweet. I can't handle Granny Smith's or Red Delicious, they're just too sweet.
This weekend we took a drive around town to get some fresh air and ended up on Rice University campus. It sure is beautiful out there. The flowers are blooming and everything is kept so green and shady; it must be a dream to study there. This is what one of the trails around campus looks like here during Spring in Houston:
Ain't that nice? I wish I could jog, excepting all that pollen and allergy nastiness that's out there right now; jogging a trail like this would be really, really fun. (Can you see how I'm trying to talk myself into this someday?)
The doctor also gave me the green light to drive myself! I'm very happy about this because I love my car and I can't wait to take it for a spin, even if it's just to the grocery store! Isn't she gorgeous? This picture was taken at Rice as well when the clouds were just so.
Lastly, my medications and fluids by IV will be decreased over the next couple weeks as I increase the amount of meds I take in pill form by mouth. In a week or two I may even be able to stay home most of the week except for lab checkups and doctor's visits. This means that I might actually be able to accomplish something in the way of my studies instead of spending half of my day at the hospital trying to avoid catching some random infection from coughing people in the hallways, which is like dodging teenagers at the mall. The less time I have to spend at that place the better! More time at home means more time with my books, and that's time I need because I have a ton of great books on my list and I'm just now able to truly get back to my studies. Reading no longer makes me nauseous, and although concentrating is still a bit difficult, I should be back on track before you know it. Until then, I'm going to continue thanking Our Lord and petitioning Mary and all the Saints on all of our behalves. For each and every day we have is a gift and precious.
The doctor took me off of my restricted no fresh fruit or vegetables diet, because my white blood cell count is stable at 3.0, so I'm gonna have an apple this afternoon to celebrate. My favorite apples are called Jazz Apples and they have the perfect blend of tangy and sweet. I can't handle Granny Smith's or Red Delicious, they're just too sweet.
This weekend we took a drive around town to get some fresh air and ended up on Rice University campus. It sure is beautiful out there. The flowers are blooming and everything is kept so green and shady; it must be a dream to study there. This is what one of the trails around campus looks like here during Spring in Houston:
Ain't that nice? I wish I could jog, excepting all that pollen and allergy nastiness that's out there right now; jogging a trail like this would be really, really fun. (Can you see how I'm trying to talk myself into this someday?)
The doctor also gave me the green light to drive myself! I'm very happy about this because I love my car and I can't wait to take it for a spin, even if it's just to the grocery store! Isn't she gorgeous? This picture was taken at Rice as well when the clouds were just so.
Lastly, my medications and fluids by IV will be decreased over the next couple weeks as I increase the amount of meds I take in pill form by mouth. In a week or two I may even be able to stay home most of the week except for lab checkups and doctor's visits. This means that I might actually be able to accomplish something in the way of my studies instead of spending half of my day at the hospital trying to avoid catching some random infection from coughing people in the hallways, which is like dodging teenagers at the mall. The less time I have to spend at that place the better! More time at home means more time with my books, and that's time I need because I have a ton of great books on my list and I'm just now able to truly get back to my studies. Reading no longer makes me nauseous, and although concentrating is still a bit difficult, I should be back on track before you know it. Until then, I'm going to continue thanking Our Lord and petitioning Mary and all the Saints on all of our behalves. For each and every day we have is a gift and precious.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
More Prayers, Please!
I am unashamed to beg for your prayers. Today is Day 30 and I'm doing well, thank the heavens! I still have a hard time with food and getting around without losing my breath, but I'm feeling much better overall, and my labs are looking up. Tuesday, March 29, is the day of my next Bone Marrow Biopsy where they will determine just how successful things really are from the inside out. I won't know the results until Thursday afternoon, but I will be chain smoking Rosaries until I do. Thank you, everyone, for your support and love. It is felt by both me and my parents and we are all very grateful.
Every once in a while my folks take me out for a drive, like to the supermarket or just around town, and if I'm lucky I get to stick my head out the window. The doctor hasn't given me the green light to do any driving myself, and I'm beginning to go a bit stir-crazy. I can't go out into the sunlight because of the meds I'm taking. I have to be very careful about what I eat. I love driving, and going out, and eating. I must avoid children and dogs at all costs, and restaurants and other public places are right-out!
Every once in a while my folks take me out for a drive, like to the supermarket or just around town, and if I'm lucky I get to stick my head out the window. The doctor hasn't given me the green light to do any driving myself, and I'm beginning to go a bit stir-crazy. I can't go out into the sunlight because of the meds I'm taking. I have to be very careful about what I eat. I love driving, and going out, and eating. I must avoid children and dogs at all costs, and restaurants and other public places are right-out!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
So Far So Good!
Day +26 is almost over and although I still have a lot of GI problems, for the most part, I feel better. I wake up very, very tired, but that should subside the more blood I make, and also the more real food I'm able to eat. I'm still spending at least 5 hours a day at the hospital, and I'm still taking very upsetting pills three times a day (plus all the others which aren't quite as harsh but still weigh me down). At the beginning of next week I will have another bone marrow biopsy where they will not only check my marrow for bad stuff, but they can actually determine how well my grafting went just by looking at the slides. Twenty-first century medicine is truly amazing. Let's just hope and pray that the graft itself is just as amazing as those fancy techniques.
I suppose that one of the most frustrating things of this process has been that I just can't seem to sit down and focus on my studies. I'm always too tired to read for any extended period of time, but when I lay down I just can't seem to sleep for more than two or three hours at a time. This keeps me perpetually tired yet seemingly always awake. The nurses say this too will pass, and I know that all of this is temporary. I wonder how long it will be before I can go back to getting my leisure-size (my version of exercise) on the pool table. I am eager to see how rusty my skills have gotten and how much work its going to take to oil up the ol' arm before I am running tables again. Of course, the doctor has to tell me that I'm okay to breathe public air again, or I have to wait until I'm healthy enough to go home and practice on my own table.
Even though I have no energy, and no ability to focus on my language studies, I have decided to add Egyptian to the list of things I would like to learn in the next few years. I don't believe it will be all that difficult, just lists and lists of things to memorize, but that has always been one of my strong suits. I can't write computer programs, but I can analyze and memorize like nobody else. And who knows? Maybe in the next year or two I'll pick up computer programming as well. I hear C# (C 'sharp,' the new C++) is the next new thing in the programming world and as soon as I get a few of my basics checked off I'll add this to my list of goals.
Oh yeah, and I want a puppy and a kitty, when the time is right, of course....
I suppose that one of the most frustrating things of this process has been that I just can't seem to sit down and focus on my studies. I'm always too tired to read for any extended period of time, but when I lay down I just can't seem to sleep for more than two or three hours at a time. This keeps me perpetually tired yet seemingly always awake. The nurses say this too will pass, and I know that all of this is temporary. I wonder how long it will be before I can go back to getting my leisure-size (my version of exercise) on the pool table. I am eager to see how rusty my skills have gotten and how much work its going to take to oil up the ol' arm before I am running tables again. Of course, the doctor has to tell me that I'm okay to breathe public air again, or I have to wait until I'm healthy enough to go home and practice on my own table.
Even though I have no energy, and no ability to focus on my language studies, I have decided to add Egyptian to the list of things I would like to learn in the next few years. I don't believe it will be all that difficult, just lists and lists of things to memorize, but that has always been one of my strong suits. I can't write computer programs, but I can analyze and memorize like nobody else. And who knows? Maybe in the next year or two I'll pick up computer programming as well. I hear C# (C 'sharp,' the new C++) is the next new thing in the programming world and as soon as I get a few of my basics checked off I'll add this to my list of goals.
Oh yeah, and I want a puppy and a kitty, when the time is right, of course....
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Half-Daze in Houston
Today, Day +20, was my first full day back at the apartment and I spent half of it at the hospital. It was fortuitous that I was discharged on the Ides of March, a very important day in Roman History, and one of my favorite days to do special things. Although I am still very weak, it was nice to walk into my own room and crash on my own bed.
The drugs I'm on which keep the graft grafting eliminate electrolytes quite quickly. Managing my gut is the biggest task right now because like somebody who takes pills to wake up and pills to go to sleep, I take pills to calm my stomach and pills that upset it several times a day. The results are good though, and my blood counts are rising all on their very own without any growth factor shots or transfusions. The doctors say that this will fluctuate and that eventually I may need some blood products, but right now things are trending upwards. My bacteria fighting capabilities are back to normal but my viral defenses are still down and may be for half, or perhaps, even a full year. So, I visit the clinic everyday, for now, until they tell me to come three times a week, then once a week, etc., as they slowly let my leash out. This process usually takes 100 days, for some sooner, others longer. I will be able to resume some normal activities in the meantime; however, I must avoid crowds and children for up to almost a year, as stated in a previous post. I look forward to tapering down the drugs and getting healthier.
During this recovery process I know of no one better to whom to turn than Mother Mary, who has been there with me through this whole ordeal. I don't know what I would do without all the Angels and Saints bearing my petitions to the Lord, and I include all you saints here on earth who have been praying on my behalf as well. My rosary gives me strength and peace in whatever happens, regardless of what time I have left, and those of you who pray it know of its holy power. Accept life for the wonderful gift that it is, never to be taken for granted, and never to be coveted as something that is ours. The sin of pride makes us believe that our lives are our own, but ultimately we all face the same end whether it's a long fight with cancer or getting hit by a bus in the street. We are all children of God, and God is love.
For the next few days I will leave my blog alone with only this, one of my favorite Beatles songs of all time, for you to enjoy.
The drugs I'm on which keep the graft grafting eliminate electrolytes quite quickly. Managing my gut is the biggest task right now because like somebody who takes pills to wake up and pills to go to sleep, I take pills to calm my stomach and pills that upset it several times a day. The results are good though, and my blood counts are rising all on their very own without any growth factor shots or transfusions. The doctors say that this will fluctuate and that eventually I may need some blood products, but right now things are trending upwards. My bacteria fighting capabilities are back to normal but my viral defenses are still down and may be for half, or perhaps, even a full year. So, I visit the clinic everyday, for now, until they tell me to come three times a week, then once a week, etc., as they slowly let my leash out. This process usually takes 100 days, for some sooner, others longer. I will be able to resume some normal activities in the meantime; however, I must avoid crowds and children for up to almost a year, as stated in a previous post. I look forward to tapering down the drugs and getting healthier.
During this recovery process I know of no one better to whom to turn than Mother Mary, who has been there with me through this whole ordeal. I don't know what I would do without all the Angels and Saints bearing my petitions to the Lord, and I include all you saints here on earth who have been praying on my behalf as well. My rosary gives me strength and peace in whatever happens, regardless of what time I have left, and those of you who pray it know of its holy power. Accept life for the wonderful gift that it is, never to be taken for granted, and never to be coveted as something that is ours. The sin of pride makes us believe that our lives are our own, but ultimately we all face the same end whether it's a long fight with cancer or getting hit by a bus in the street. We are all children of God, and God is love.
For the next few days I will leave my blog alone with only this, one of my favorite Beatles songs of all time, for you to enjoy.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Discharge Tomorrow, Homecoming??
I'm doing well enough to be put on oral medication tonight and then be discharged tomorrow afternoon. For a while I will be needing daily checkups, which includes labs, IV fluids, blood products, and medicines. I should be able to stop taking one of the meds which makes me nauseous at the end of the month, the coral snake eggs. Although this makes my recovery sound like it's going to take weeks the doctor assures me that certain cell lines won't recover for 6-12 months. A big window, I know, but that's what she said. The ones that fight viruses are the ones which will recover lastly, so that means that I have to stay under house arrest until they come up. No restaurants, no church, no mall, no children allowed in my presence or anyone who is around children, no smokers around me, no one who has been sick or has been around anybody who has been sick... this includes all my friends and family, even my dad when he goes back to work. Basically I am home-bound until my lymphocytes recover. Hopefully by late June, early July we will see some all-around immunity begin to recover. You can't jump into faster-than-light speed unless your shield covers your ship's entire hull; you'll rip the ship apart. I think I'll be spending a little while longer in Houston than we were led to believe would be necessary, but that's a small price to pay for long term health.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Houston, We Have Engraftment!
The doctor came in excited today with a big smile and congratulated me on having grafted successfully! My white count is 1.8 but my neutrophil count is 1.58 which means I have crossed the line in the sand!! My mother's stem cells seem to be sympatico with my system and for her generosity I am eternally grateful.
I am still dealing with nausea and other pains but this is really great news. They are going to switch most of my meds from IV to PO (by mouth) so that I can take them home. Perhaps I can stop the antibiotics and neupogen which will make me feel better as well. I will probably be here another two days, maybe three for observation. And, as I said earlier, I'm not out of the woods for one hundred, maybe two hundred days so far as graft-versus-host disease goes and other complications. We're taking this one day at a time, but today is a good day!
Today, I offer up the second half of Psalm 118, for the Lord has chastened me, but has not given me over to death.
15 Shouts of joy and victory
resound in the tents of the righteous:
“The LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!
16 The LORD’s right hand is lifted high;
the LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!”
17 I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the LORD has done.
18 The LORD has chastened me severely,
but he has not given me over to death.
19 Open for me the gates of the righteous;
I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.
20 This is the gate of the LORD
through which the righteous may enter.
21 I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
you have become my salvation.
22 The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone;
23 the LORD has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
24 The LORD has done it this very day;
let us rejoice today and be glad.
25 LORD, save us!
LORD, grant us success!
26 Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.
From the house of the LORD we bless you.
27 The LORD is God,
and he has made his light shine on us.
With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar.
28 You are my God, and I will praise you;
you are my God, and I will exalt you.
29 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
(NIV 2011)
Also, I can finally play some Flyleaf songs that I have been saving for a happy occasion like this. Most people would think I would play a Dave Matthews or Incubus song today, but nope... maybe tomorrow!
Here is the video for "Fully Alive" which best encapsulates my feelings for today.
This is the video for "All Around Me" which is how I feel about my prayer life and gratitude to our Lord.
Okay, I want to invite everybody to celebrate with me when the opportunity arises. Here's an Incubus song to say, it's better with everybody around you being part of the celebration!
I am still dealing with nausea and other pains but this is really great news. They are going to switch most of my meds from IV to PO (by mouth) so that I can take them home. Perhaps I can stop the antibiotics and neupogen which will make me feel better as well. I will probably be here another two days, maybe three for observation. And, as I said earlier, I'm not out of the woods for one hundred, maybe two hundred days so far as graft-versus-host disease goes and other complications. We're taking this one day at a time, but today is a good day!
Today, I offer up the second half of Psalm 118, for the Lord has chastened me, but has not given me over to death.
15 Shouts of joy and victory
resound in the tents of the righteous:
“The LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!
16 The LORD’s right hand is lifted high;
the LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!”
17 I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the LORD has done.
18 The LORD has chastened me severely,
but he has not given me over to death.
19 Open for me the gates of the righteous;
I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.
20 This is the gate of the LORD
through which the righteous may enter.
21 I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
you have become my salvation.
22 The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone;
23 the LORD has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
24 The LORD has done it this very day;
let us rejoice today and be glad.
25 LORD, save us!
LORD, grant us success!
26 Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.
From the house of the LORD we bless you.
27 The LORD is God,
and he has made his light shine on us.
With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar.
28 You are my God, and I will praise you;
you are my God, and I will exalt you.
29 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
(NIV 2011)
Also, I can finally play some Flyleaf songs that I have been saving for a happy occasion like this. Most people would think I would play a Dave Matthews or Incubus song today, but nope... maybe tomorrow!
Here is the video for "Fully Alive" which best encapsulates my feelings for today.
This is the video for "All Around Me" which is how I feel about my prayer life and gratitude to our Lord.
Okay, I want to invite everybody to celebrate with me when the opportunity arises. Here's an Incubus song to say, it's better with everybody around you being part of the celebration!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Second Chances Are All the Rage These Days...
The doctor says I'll be in here another few days to make sure the trend stays on track, because my white count is 1.1 today! They want the total count to be above 2.0 and the neutrophil count to be around 1.5. I still feel queasy two or three times a day and am on so many medications you'd think I'm a card carrying AARP member already... that's life though! My parents are eating fajitas from a really good local Mexican place called Antonio's, of all places. It's not as good as the greasy spoons we have back home in El Paso (like La Pila down by Ysleta HS - thank you Norma! I can't wait to get back to eating those gorditas with you!), but they do a good job coming close. I, on the other hand, am lucky if I can get half a grilled cheese down. I am very fatigued just sitting here typing and I don't know when the dry heaves will come back, but for those of you who know the line... it don't mean nothin'! These are all temporary symptoms and I'm sure I'll get through them like I have for the past year and a half. I know that most of you started being Muse fans either from being Twilight fans (Neutron Star Collision and Supermassive Black Hole) or V fans (Uprising). I, on the other hand, liked the band before they were cool... so, there! So, here's the title track from their 2003 album Absolution. This song fits today's mood very well. If you like Muse's new stuff I suggest you go all the way back to their album Showbiz and get on Grooveshark to listen to some of their earlier stuff like Unintended, Muscle Museum, and Uno. I'm sure I'll think of something more intellectual to post for tomorrow, right now I'm pretty exhausted.
Unfortunately, embed is disabled for their official video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ck6Hcg2cjk
but this is the audio:
Unfortunately, embed is disabled for their official video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ck6Hcg2cjk
but this is the audio:
Friday, March 11, 2011
We're Definitely Carpe-ing Some Diem-s!!
After yesterday's little poetry excursion my white count stood up to 0.5! No, I will not be playing Eminem today, haha! If you know me, you know that I would much rather celebrate with Frank and Dave Matthews, so two happy songs are to be found below.
The doctor says it's still too early to celebrate because there are always unforeseen bumps in the road, but I'm on a new nausea medication that is working better to keep the stomach in check and I generally feel better. However, I must stay on guard because the recovery time with a bone marrow transplant is many months and there are always ups and downs during that time period. But I am feeling better today, so I'm going to take advantage of that and maybe even read a page or two in one of the twenty books I have with me at which I haven't even looked in recent weeks. It seems like the first calendar might have been more accurate, although I am not sure when they will discharge me. That is determined by my daily progress, so I'll keep y'all abreast of things as they happen.
The doctor says it's still too early to celebrate because there are always unforeseen bumps in the road, but I'm on a new nausea medication that is working better to keep the stomach in check and I generally feel better. However, I must stay on guard because the recovery time with a bone marrow transplant is many months and there are always ups and downs during that time period. But I am feeling better today, so I'm going to take advantage of that and maybe even read a page or two in one of the twenty books I have with me at which I haven't even looked in recent weeks. It seems like the first calendar might have been more accurate, although I am not sure when they will discharge me. That is determined by my daily progress, so I'll keep y'all abreast of things as they happen.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Carpe Diem
Today, as I continue to wait for concrete signs of improvement, I think of two poems from antiquity. The first is from our friend Horatius Quintus Flaccus, better known as the first century BC Augustan poet, Horace. His eleventh Carmen from his first book of Odes ends with the lines
dum loquimur, fugerit invida
aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.
which in my mind translates to
even while we are speaking, envious life will have fled away:
gather ye rosebuds while ye may, with little trust in the next day.
There's a lot of hullabaloo about translating "carpe diem" since carpere is a verb used for harvesting and so it does mean something like "sieze the day," but not really. "Pluck the day" or "Harvest the day" is better, but less poetic.
So, I prefer to translate the controversial phrase with a line from a different famous poem with the same meaning by the 17th Century English poet Robert Herrick.
To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.
The message being to get as much out of today as possible, not necessarily to be pessimistic about tomorrow, but to be joyful and fulfilled right now, because time just doesn't stop.
The second ancient poem is one some of you may have heard yesterday, which was Ash Wednesday, and tells us that no matter what befalls us today, we have refuge in our God.
Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
(NIV 2011)
We all have wonderful lives, even when there are problems. Live your life and love those in your life.
Today is also a Dave Matthews Band day, because I declare it so. Here are two of my favorites, although I must admit that I like them all, even the politically correct songs. The band is just too good. The second I could only find a solo performance, but it is actually a very beautiful rendition. I'm glad y'all like my music. I'll try to leave this post up as long as possible until there's some actual news on my condition to report. Right now everything is status quo.
dum loquimur, fugerit invida
aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.
which in my mind translates to
even while we are speaking, envious life will have fled away:
gather ye rosebuds while ye may, with little trust in the next day.
There's a lot of hullabaloo about translating "carpe diem" since carpere is a verb used for harvesting and so it does mean something like "sieze the day," but not really. "Pluck the day" or "Harvest the day" is better, but less poetic.
So, I prefer to translate the controversial phrase with a line from a different famous poem with the same meaning by the 17th Century English poet Robert Herrick.
To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.
The message being to get as much out of today as possible, not necessarily to be pessimistic about tomorrow, but to be joyful and fulfilled right now, because time just doesn't stop.
The second ancient poem is one some of you may have heard yesterday, which was Ash Wednesday, and tells us that no matter what befalls us today, we have refuge in our God.
Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
(NIV 2011)
We all have wonderful lives, even when there are problems. Live your life and love those in your life.
Today is also a Dave Matthews Band day, because I declare it so. Here are two of my favorites, although I must admit that I like them all, even the politically correct songs. The band is just too good. The second I could only find a solo performance, but it is actually a very beautiful rendition. I'm glad y'all like my music. I'll try to leave this post up as long as possible until there's some actual news on my condition to report. Right now everything is status quo.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Revised Calendar
It turns out that because of the way the stem cells were harvested, fresh from my mother's hip bone the day of the transplant instead of peripherally beforehand then frozen, engraftment may take more time. The new range given is 20-28 days. I have thus revised the optimistic calendar to reflect this new information.
You can see that today, Day +13, is still a full week away from any signs of improvement with my particular type of transplant. This isn't necessarily a bad thing because quick engraftments usually have problems associated with them. We want the graft to take place slowly with stability so that it has a better hold on my system in the long-run. I can't wait until I can post Flyleaf's Fully Alive, but it's not time yet. I'm still patiently waiting for my body to catch up with my state of mind...
In the meantime check out this great Dark Crystal footage used by Incubus in their video of "Oil and Water" and tell me it don't bring back awesome memories!
You can see that today, Day +13, is still a full week away from any signs of improvement with my particular type of transplant. This isn't necessarily a bad thing because quick engraftments usually have problems associated with them. We want the graft to take place slowly with stability so that it has a better hold on my system in the long-run. I can't wait until I can post Flyleaf's Fully Alive, but it's not time yet. I'm still patiently waiting for my body to catch up with my state of mind...
In the meantime check out this great Dark Crystal footage used by Incubus in their video of "Oil and Water" and tell me it don't bring back awesome memories!
Monday, March 7, 2011
A Little Better, A Little Worse, Another Day, Another Blessing
No fever last night! It seems the antibiotics worked, thank God. We'll see what tonight brings, but for now I'm just receiving a nice bag of donated red blood cells to help my hemoglobin level come up a bit. Lack of red blood affects digestion (and I don't need any more digestion problems!) and energy levels, since oxygen is carried to the cells throughout the body by the red blood cells. Everything wears me out. Brushing my teeth is exhausting. Eating is a chore, and its opposite is more so. Hopefully, I will only have to put up with this exhaustion for another week until my own body thinks my mom's cells are my own, after which my newly-own marrow will start making my own new blood again. Today is Day +11 and all I can think about is getting back to my home, my family, my studies, my pool table, and some decent food. Having been blessed with another day of life I can't imagine it not being full of love and happiness, even here in this hospital room. And never being satisfied with less, I can't help but think of one of my favorite Frank songs, All Or Nothing At All. He may be Sinatra, or the Chairman of the Board to everybody else, but to me he's Frank and has been since my freshman year of high school when I first started to shooby-doo to Strangers In The Night. I hope y'all enjoy today's selection!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
A Few More Days...
Well, it's been a rough weekend. Not as rough as it could have been, thank God, but fever and associated symptoms have kept me down for a couple days. My fever broke, so I'm up, but the eye of the storm is momentary. The doctor suspects something viral, which means we just have to wait it out. If it's bacterial, there are specific treatments. If it's related to the neupogen about which I wrote on Thursday, then my immune system is "warming up" to say the least! There's no indication of that yet though and the doctor suspects engraftment is still a few days away, probably around the 2 week mark. Today is still only day +10 so it is too early for my counts to rise significantly. The fever is most likely some underlying virus that I will have to put up with for maybe another week since my white cell count is still 0.000. It sucks but that's the way it is. Here is an optimistic calendar for the rest of the month:
Notice the discharge goal of Day +19. Even if I graft by then, a continuing fever will keep me here until it is resolved. And resolve these problems I will. As the psalmist says in Psalm 118 (117 DR), one of my favorites for its imagery and meaning:
They swarmed around me like bees,
but they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns;
in the name of the LORD I cut them down.
I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the LORD helped me.
The LORD is my strength and my defense;
He has become my salvation.
(NIV 2011)
They swarmed around me like bees,
but they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns;
in the name of the LORD I cut them down.
I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the LORD helped me.
The LORD is my strength and my defense;
He has become my salvation.
(NIV 2011)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Need a Jump?
Neupogen: A drug that basically forces stem cells to get to work making white cells. A drug that I started today. It is a filgrastim, granulocyte colony stimulating factor (G-CSF) and is actually a genetic form of therapy with a very cool mechanism for those of you interested in such things. I have taken this on numerous occasions to recover from chemo in the past. This time the purpose is different from recovery, namely jump starting the transplanted cells. In my experience, Neupogen takes about 7-10 days to kick in, but I am taking a slightly higher dose than usual so it will be interesting to see what kind of turnaround time my immune system will have. You know that it kicks in because of the incredible bone pain caused by the internal pressure associated with the cellular growth inside your marrow, but also because your blood counts increase. Although I am patiently waiting for nature to take its course inside my bones, I am eager to see some improvement in my condition. My blood pressure keeps fluctuating with all the fluids being pumped into me and this causes swelling in inconvenient places.
The doctor asked me if I wanted some oxycontin for my headaches. I know most people would jump at the chance for a cool pain killer script, but I think I'll only take it if I really need it. I think I just need a good night's sleep, which won't happen until I get home. Another reason to be eager for my immune system to take a spark.
One day at a time is all I can say for now.
The doctor asked me if I wanted some oxycontin for my headaches. I know most people would jump at the chance for a cool pain killer script, but I think I'll only take it if I really need it. I think I just need a good night's sleep, which won't happen until I get home. Another reason to be eager for my immune system to take a spark.
One day at a time is all I can say for now.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Waiting....
[update 2:15 PM: Grammarphiles may not want to miss my note appended after the video clips!]
Well I believe I've settled into my new drugs nicely, although the doctor wants to give them a few more days before ruling out any side effects like tremors and fevers 'n' such. I'm taking my coral snake eggs 4 at a time, 3 times a day, and they are beginning to dry my mouth out a bit, but this is minor. Today is Day +6 and I'm hoping that my counts begin to come up within a week. It sure would be nice to have some energy for a change. I'm actually going to try to do some book-work today though, and I hope I can do a good amount. I was hoping on accomplishing a good amount during this "down time," but I have had such little sleep and energy that reading is difficult, even on the new kindle my best friend Adam gave me for my "second birthday." Thanks, brother! I'm trying to put it to good use! I am going back through the Aeneid in English on it, little by little, but it is slow going. I may still get to do plenty in the 2 weeks before I'm discharged but not nearly as much as I had wanted.
I know that my top priority must fundamentally be my Latin and Greek skills. Everything follows from proficiency in the original languages. Higher criticism (literary theory) is on shaky ground without proper lower criticism (textual work with the original manuscripts, etc.). I believe I mentioned in a previous post the need for my studying modern foreign languages as well... the work is overwhelming at times and the amount of vocabulary and grammar I've learned is shocking yet I still don't have a working knowledge of these languages (although I got along fairly well in Rome, I must admit). Spanish is altogether a separate issue.
I suppose my top 5 tasks at the current moment are to keep trudging along in my Latin and Greek textbooks, keep plowing through my list of ancient authors in translation, work steadily in French, Italian, and German so I can make it through my first year of graduate school, maintain my biblical studies, and try to add Hebrew to it all. Am I crazy? I know where I want to be and I know what it will take to get there, but the bridge looks long and rickety. Or perhaps this is an Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade moment where I need to take a leap of faith onto the invisible path below. Either way, I'm going to do my best to make some headway in one of my five areas of focus in the next two weeks before I'm discharged. Now if I can just get some blood in my head with which to do it all!
Since I've been in the habit of posting music videos and the like here, I think I'll put this old song up since it is most fitting for how I feel today.
Nota Bene: I freely and idiomatically use phrasal verbs in my speech and writing. The curious grammar-lover will be interested to learn some of the things they never teach you in school. Most grammarians follow hard and fast the classic rules to never break infinitives, or, never to break infinitives, and never to end sentences with prepositions. More advanced practitioners of grammar move beyond stylistic limitations in favor of eloquence, knowing that they are still not really breaking the rules, even though it may appear so. It is this lofty goal to which I aspire in my writing. In the sentence "Sit down!" for example, 'down' is clearly not beginning a prepositional phrase but is a particle functioning adverbially with the verb 'sit.' Prepositions used complimentarily in this way are considered part of the verb. They are not always limited to a position following the verb. The Greeks separated compound verbs of this type regularly in epic, and this separation in the Greek language is called tmesis. An example of this in English is, "Please turn the light on." There is nothing grammatically incorrect with that sentence. The particle is separated from the verb yet still functions adverbially, not as a preposition. Although the Greek usage is not a one to one relationship with English usage, the stylistic reasons for writing this way are the same in both languages, it just sounds better. (Cf. Phonetic Euphony)
Well I believe I've settled into my new drugs nicely, although the doctor wants to give them a few more days before ruling out any side effects like tremors and fevers 'n' such. I'm taking my coral snake eggs 4 at a time, 3 times a day, and they are beginning to dry my mouth out a bit, but this is minor. Today is Day +6 and I'm hoping that my counts begin to come up within a week. It sure would be nice to have some energy for a change. I'm actually going to try to do some book-work today though, and I hope I can do a good amount. I was hoping on accomplishing a good amount during this "down time," but I have had such little sleep and energy that reading is difficult, even on the new kindle my best friend Adam gave me for my "second birthday." Thanks, brother! I'm trying to put it to good use! I am going back through the Aeneid in English on it, little by little, but it is slow going. I may still get to do plenty in the 2 weeks before I'm discharged but not nearly as much as I had wanted.
I know that my top priority must fundamentally be my Latin and Greek skills. Everything follows from proficiency in the original languages. Higher criticism (literary theory) is on shaky ground without proper lower criticism (textual work with the original manuscripts, etc.). I believe I mentioned in a previous post the need for my studying modern foreign languages as well... the work is overwhelming at times and the amount of vocabulary and grammar I've learned is shocking yet I still don't have a working knowledge of these languages (although I got along fairly well in Rome, I must admit). Spanish is altogether a separate issue.
I suppose my top 5 tasks at the current moment are to keep trudging along in my Latin and Greek textbooks, keep plowing through my list of ancient authors in translation, work steadily in French, Italian, and German so I can make it through my first year of graduate school, maintain my biblical studies, and try to add Hebrew to it all. Am I crazy? I know where I want to be and I know what it will take to get there, but the bridge looks long and rickety. Or perhaps this is an Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade moment where I need to take a leap of faith onto the invisible path below. Either way, I'm going to do my best to make some headway in one of my five areas of focus in the next two weeks before I'm discharged. Now if I can just get some blood in my head with which to do it all!
Since I've been in the habit of posting music videos and the like here, I think I'll put this old song up since it is most fitting for how I feel today.
Nota Bene: I freely and idiomatically use phrasal verbs in my speech and writing. The curious grammar-lover will be interested to learn some of the things they never teach you in school. Most grammarians follow hard and fast the classic rules to never break infinitives, or, never to break infinitives, and never to end sentences with prepositions. More advanced practitioners of grammar move beyond stylistic limitations in favor of eloquence, knowing that they are still not really breaking the rules, even though it may appear so. It is this lofty goal to which I aspire in my writing. In the sentence "Sit down!" for example, 'down' is clearly not beginning a prepositional phrase but is a particle functioning adverbially with the verb 'sit.' Prepositions used complimentarily in this way are considered part of the verb. They are not always limited to a position following the verb. The Greeks separated compound verbs of this type regularly in epic, and this separation in the Greek language is called tmesis. An example of this in English is, "Please turn the light on." There is nothing grammatically incorrect with that sentence. The particle is separated from the verb yet still functions adverbially, not as a preposition. Although the Greek usage is not a one to one relationship with English usage, the stylistic reasons for writing this way are the same in both languages, it just sounds better. (Cf. Phonetic Euphony)
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Day +5
Well, I actually ate a little breakfast this morning. My stomach doesn't hurt like it did the past two days and I generally feel better. I am still very tired and am constantly out of breath but I do believe the chemo is leaving my system. This is good.
Today I start two anti-rejection drugs. They both have heavy duty side effects that I definitely want to avoid, but since my transplant was a haplo-identical one, meaning related (my mom) but only half matched, my body is naturally going to try to reject my mom's stem cells until they graft and become more "me." These drugs, no matter how bad the side effects, are all that are keeping me alive right now until engraftment happens. I will continue taking them for quite some time afterward as well.
Here are some pictures:
Funny enough, these pills remind me that nature has a way of warning us of poisonous things by coloring them brightly, e.g. Wasps, coral snakes, etc. So these are my little coral snake eggs! Mm mm good!!
I will post later if these drugs affect me quickly.
For now, I leave you with another one of my favorite songs from one of favorite new bands, Flyleaf. They're a Christian band, although you would never know it from the heavy sexual overtones in their music, they constantly evangelize at their concerts, and their music just rocks. This song and a few I will post in the coming days are really inspiring. This song, "Again," I believe is written as if Jesus were speaking to you. I encourage you to take it that way :)
This is a VEVO embed, not Youtube, so let me know if you have trouble getting it to load, VEVO are usually higher quality and take longer to load so you may want to start, then pause to let it load, then play once it's spooled. Also, for those of you who don't watch online videos much, note that hitting fullscreen after it loads forces it to reload all over again at higher resolution, wasting all that time you just waited for the little bar to grow, so be careful... and enjoy!
Flyleaf's own explanation of the song is in this interview below. The explanation gets clear around 2:15 if you don't want to watch the whole thing. Sorry for the embedded commercial.
Today I start two anti-rejection drugs. They both have heavy duty side effects that I definitely want to avoid, but since my transplant was a haplo-identical one, meaning related (my mom) but only half matched, my body is naturally going to try to reject my mom's stem cells until they graft and become more "me." These drugs, no matter how bad the side effects, are all that are keeping me alive right now until engraftment happens. I will continue taking them for quite some time afterward as well.
Here are some pictures:
Funny enough, these pills remind me that nature has a way of warning us of poisonous things by coloring them brightly, e.g. Wasps, coral snakes, etc. So these are my little coral snake eggs! Mm mm good!!
I will post later if these drugs affect me quickly.
For now, I leave you with another one of my favorite songs from one of favorite new bands, Flyleaf. They're a Christian band, although you would never know it from the heavy sexual overtones in their music, they constantly evangelize at their concerts, and their music just rocks. This song and a few I will post in the coming days are really inspiring. This song, "Again," I believe is written as if Jesus were speaking to you. I encourage you to take it that way :)
This is a VEVO embed, not Youtube, so let me know if you have trouble getting it to load, VEVO are usually higher quality and take longer to load so you may want to start, then pause to let it load, then play once it's spooled. Also, for those of you who don't watch online videos much, note that hitting fullscreen after it loads forces it to reload all over again at higher resolution, wasting all that time you just waited for the little bar to grow, so be careful... and enjoy!
Flyleaf's own explanation of the song is in this interview below. The explanation gets clear around 2:15 if you don't want to watch the whole thing. Sorry for the embedded commercial.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Day +4
Well my intestines feel like I drank some Drano, and the fluids they have me on are making my skin very puffy and tight which has led to the on-again off-again headache I've had throughout the day. The headache medicine they gave me left me with some voodoo-inspired nightmares which were not at all pleasant, especially since I am not used to remembering my dreams at all. The worst part of this whole thing is that right now reading makes me nauseous, which is terrible because that's pretty much all I ever want to do. These symptoms should wane in a few days, although others are certainly waxing on the horizon.
The good news is that this morning I received my last chemo I should ever need (not the last drug though, ha!). Chemotherapy will have no more place in my life when the transplant takes hold, Amen! To continue a metaphor from before, this roller coaster has taken its main plunge and is at full speed ready for the loop-da-loop, upside down twist, and final drop. The dangers I face now are graft problems, which are generally treated with steroids, opportunistic infections like shingles and pneumonia, which are generally treated with antibiotics, and the occasional need for blood products.
The remote chance of disease recurrence, or relapse, which is treated with another transplant, though with far fewer chemo treatments than my current undertaking and with better success rates is, thankfully, just that - remote. (Upon second relapse a third transplant has a poor prognosis, so we won't consider that.)
My job is to stay focused, eat right and exercise (classic doctor recommendations!), and have faith. I do not doubt that our Lord is taking care of me; the thoughts and prayers of all my loved ones are sure proof of his grace operating in our lives.
The good news is that this morning I received my last chemo I should ever need (not the last drug though, ha!). Chemotherapy will have no more place in my life when the transplant takes hold, Amen! To continue a metaphor from before, this roller coaster has taken its main plunge and is at full speed ready for the loop-da-loop, upside down twist, and final drop. The dangers I face now are graft problems, which are generally treated with steroids, opportunistic infections like shingles and pneumonia, which are generally treated with antibiotics, and the occasional need for blood products.
The remote chance of disease recurrence, or relapse, which is treated with another transplant, though with far fewer chemo treatments than my current undertaking and with better success rates is, thankfully, just that - remote. (Upon second relapse a third transplant has a poor prognosis, so we won't consider that.)
My job is to stay focused, eat right and exercise (classic doctor recommendations!), and have faith. I do not doubt that our Lord is taking care of me; the thoughts and prayers of all my loved ones are sure proof of his grace operating in our lives.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Day +3
I woke up this morning actually feeling ok. Then they brought me more chemo. And boy are my arms tired.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Day +1
Ok... Obviously I can't work... I can't go back to school for at least a year... What am I going to do with my time? God willing, I now have some time. I suppose the best use of my time will be to solidify my knowledge base so that I am fully prepared for graduate school. Most of that work involves language study. I have to have a proficient reading knowledge of French and German. My Latin and Greek have to be in peak condition, not to mention my at-the-ready knowledge of ancient history and literature. This means studying the key figures from Homer to Constantine in more depth than I did when I was in college and re-reading the literature itself like the Oresteia, Argonautika, and Aeneid. I'm going to spend some time today making some lists and checking them twice. My Spanish studies will be what I do for fun. It will be interesting to see how much I can accomplish here in the hospital. Sleep is at a premium here because they have to check my vital signs at midnight and then again at 4 AM when they draw my blood for labs in the morning. I also have a few religious projects I have to squeeze in somewhere, perhaps I can consider that weekend work. We'll see how long my hospital stay will actually be when I'm discharged, but assuming I'm here for another 3 weeks at least, I think I can get a considerable amount of review accomplished even if I'm drugged half the time.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Day of Gratitude and Love
[update 7:50 PM: transplant complete.]
[update 4:25 PM: Awoke from benadryl induced nap to find folks munching on Chick-Fil-A. Mom is groggy but otherwise fine. Dad is one calm customer. The doctors and nurses were all great and tell me the drip should finish in a few hours.]
[update 1:15 PM: Nurse just informed us that the bag will be here at 2 PM. My premeds start in 15 mins. Hello Benadryl!]
[update 11:15 AM: Doctor just visited me and said mom is out of surgery and shaking off the anesthesia. The stem cells are being prepared, 2 bags, and things went well.]
[10:00 AM: Original Post]
Today is Day Zero (0). Today I receive the stem cells from my mother who is currently in surgery donating what I need to live. I am grateful for all the support of my loved ones as I go through this. I am reminded of two things today, associated quite randomly. First is a prayer by St. Jean-Baptiste Marie Vianney the Curé d'Ars, which is called the Act of Love. From my travels at holy sites in France, it is my favorite. It goes as follows:
I love You, O my God and
my sole desire is to love You until the last breath of my life.
I love You, O infinitely lovable God and
I prefer to die loving You than live one instant without loving You.
I love You, O my God, and
I do not desire anything but heaven so as to have the joy of loving You perfectly.
I love You, O my God, and
I fear hell, because there will not be the sweet consolation of loving You.
O my God, if my tongue cannot say in every moment that I love You,
I want my heart to say it in every beat.
Allow me the grace to suffer loving You,
to love you suffering and
one day to die loving You and feeling that I love You.
And as I approach my end, I beg you to increase and perfect my love of You.
Amen.
The French original is beautiful as well.
Secondly, on a less serious note, I woke up this morning with the most curious song stuck in my head. John Cougar Mellencamp's rendition of Buddy Holly's "Rave On" from the movie Cocktail. I think it sets the mood perfectly for today and so here it is.
Later, I will post a picture of the blood when it gets hung on my IV pole. Stay tuned...
[update 4:25 PM: Awoke from benadryl induced nap to find folks munching on Chick-Fil-A. Mom is groggy but otherwise fine. Dad is one calm customer. The doctors and nurses were all great and tell me the drip should finish in a few hours.]
[update 1:15 PM: Nurse just informed us that the bag will be here at 2 PM. My premeds start in 15 mins. Hello Benadryl!]
[update 11:15 AM: Doctor just visited me and said mom is out of surgery and shaking off the anesthesia. The stem cells are being prepared, 2 bags, and things went well.]
[10:00 AM: Original Post]
Today is Day Zero (0). Today I receive the stem cells from my mother who is currently in surgery donating what I need to live. I am grateful for all the support of my loved ones as I go through this. I am reminded of two things today, associated quite randomly. First is a prayer by St. Jean-Baptiste Marie Vianney the Curé d'Ars, which is called the Act of Love. From my travels at holy sites in France, it is my favorite. It goes as follows:
I love You, O my God and
my sole desire is to love You until the last breath of my life.
I love You, O infinitely lovable God and
I prefer to die loving You than live one instant without loving You.
I love You, O my God, and
I do not desire anything but heaven so as to have the joy of loving You perfectly.
I love You, O my God, and
I fear hell, because there will not be the sweet consolation of loving You.
O my God, if my tongue cannot say in every moment that I love You,
I want my heart to say it in every beat.
Allow me the grace to suffer loving You,
to love you suffering and
one day to die loving You and feeling that I love You.
And as I approach my end, I beg you to increase and perfect my love of You.
Amen.
The French original is beautiful as well.
Secondly, on a less serious note, I woke up this morning with the most curious song stuck in my head. John Cougar Mellencamp's rendition of Buddy Holly's "Rave On" from the movie Cocktail. I think it sets the mood perfectly for today and so here it is.
Later, I will post a picture of the blood when it gets hung on my IV pole. Stay tuned...
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Day -2
There it is, ladies and gentlemen! A count of zero!
Today and one more day of "rest" before the transplant on Thursday.
In other news... The Legend of Zelda is 25 years old today! Happy birthday to an old friend and classic! I don't know how many hours I spent on this game, but I'm sure I could be a rocket scientist if it weren't for Nintendo... and as always, nothing beats the original!
So, now that I am getting a second birthday and the clock is essentially being reset, I am taking inventory of my life's pursuits. In doing so, I have made a small list of things I have accomplished, things I should have accomplished, and things I want to accomplish in the future. This simple assessment of my life will redirect my studies, and bring to light what my capabilities really are. However, one blaring item at the top of my "should've" list is going to get my attention for the next few months while I recuperate. Besides, of course, keeping my Latin and Greek current and useful for biblical studies, which is where I spend most of my time, I am growing more and more aware of my lack of proficiency in the language my whole family speaks but me. I should learn Spanish. I don't think it'll be that hard because I have such a good grounding in it, growing up where I did, but the talking part has never taken hold in my mind. I will probably watch Spanish TV more and spend some time getting to know the grammar but I would appreciate any suggestions or helps to make my acquisition of Spanish go faster or easier.
Today and one more day of "rest" before the transplant on Thursday.
In other news... The Legend of Zelda is 25 years old today! Happy birthday to an old friend and classic! I don't know how many hours I spent on this game, but I'm sure I could be a rocket scientist if it weren't for Nintendo... and as always, nothing beats the original!
So, now that I am getting a second birthday and the clock is essentially being reset, I am taking inventory of my life's pursuits. In doing so, I have made a small list of things I have accomplished, things I should have accomplished, and things I want to accomplish in the future. This simple assessment of my life will redirect my studies, and bring to light what my capabilities really are. However, one blaring item at the top of my "should've" list is going to get my attention for the next few months while I recuperate. Besides, of course, keeping my Latin and Greek current and useful for biblical studies, which is where I spend most of my time, I am growing more and more aware of my lack of proficiency in the language my whole family speaks but me. I should learn Spanish. I don't think it'll be that hard because I have such a good grounding in it, growing up where I did, but the talking part has never taken hold in my mind. I will probably watch Spanish TV more and spend some time getting to know the grammar but I would appreciate any suggestions or helps to make my acquisition of Spanish go faster or easier.
Monday, February 21, 2011
It's Official!
Day -3
I have completed all the myeloablative chemotherapy necessary to eradicate my own marrow. My immune system, on a scale from 4.0-11.0, is now 0.1.
Very soon I will be requiring transfusions of blood and platelets. On the 24th that will include the stem cells from my mom. Her cells will begin to think they are mine in about 2 weeks time. We don't want them grafting too quickly but, as the parable teaches us, on good soil taking good root.
Perhaps my taste buds will come back before then but my doctor says don't count on it. And I really do count myself lucky that so far my stomach full of rocks and pasty mouth are my biggest concerns. My bilirubin was back to my baseline at 1.9 today, indicating that my liver is doing its best in the war effort. Constant IV fluids help since I'm eating and drinking like a bird.
So, I have 2 days of "rest" before the big day and if I can manage to read a little without getting nauseous I can try to get back to my studies. I will write about them tomorrow because there is a little project I could use your help on when I get home.
However, today is a special day because my beloved cousin Paul Navar was received into the arms of our Lord 2 years ago. My family will be praying a special rosary for his soul this evening around 6. Please join us, in whatever way you can, in remembering him today. Remember to pray to him as well as for him. The Communion of Saints is not just for the canonized.
I have completed all the myeloablative chemotherapy necessary to eradicate my own marrow. My immune system, on a scale from 4.0-11.0, is now 0.1.
Very soon I will be requiring transfusions of blood and platelets. On the 24th that will include the stem cells from my mom. Her cells will begin to think they are mine in about 2 weeks time. We don't want them grafting too quickly but, as the parable teaches us, on good soil taking good root.
Perhaps my taste buds will come back before then but my doctor says don't count on it. And I really do count myself lucky that so far my stomach full of rocks and pasty mouth are my biggest concerns. My bilirubin was back to my baseline at 1.9 today, indicating that my liver is doing its best in the war effort. Constant IV fluids help since I'm eating and drinking like a bird.
So, I have 2 days of "rest" before the big day and if I can manage to read a little without getting nauseous I can try to get back to my studies. I will write about them tomorrow because there is a little project I could use your help on when I get home.
However, today is a special day because my beloved cousin Paul Navar was received into the arms of our Lord 2 years ago. My family will be praying a special rosary for his soul this evening around 6. Please join us, in whatever way you can, in remembering him today. Remember to pray to him as well as for him. The Communion of Saints is not just for the canonized.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Reminiscences
"If you've ever wanted to diet, now's your chance!" was my doctor's witty remark this morning after I told him my appetite was gone. He said some people don't get much of an appetite back for the full 80-100 days. So if I can just get over this water retention I may actually lose some weight. I am now officially on the MD Anderson diet.
The good news this morning is that my bilirubin went down a whole point to 2.7. My liver may be able to cope with this chemotherapy after all. Of course it usually spikes about 10 days after treatment, but if it stays below 5 or 6 in the next couple weeks after the transplant then we can stop worrying about that as a possible complication.
Although my room is small, I do have a fairly decent view of the south medical district. And if the light is just right the curvy street down below reminds me of the river at the grotto in Lourdes.
Can't you see the similarities?
This post was made possible by a grant from the Willpower Foundation. Providing willpower for over forty generations.
The good news this morning is that my bilirubin went down a whole point to 2.7. My liver may be able to cope with this chemotherapy after all. Of course it usually spikes about 10 days after treatment, but if it stays below 5 or 6 in the next couple weeks after the transplant then we can stop worrying about that as a possible complication.
Although my room is small, I do have a fairly decent view of the south medical district. And if the light is just right the curvy street down below reminds me of the river at the grotto in Lourdes.
Can't you see the similarities?
This post was made possible by a grant from the Willpower Foundation. Providing willpower for over forty generations.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Feeling Bad, Thinking Good, Reading Scripture
The chemo really took effect yesterday and now nothing tastes good. Not even the soup my dad brought me today, which he made using my own recipe! At least this way my mom can eat more of the veggie soup my dad brought because she's going to need her strength in the coming days. General anesthesia is not something to take lightly. In the meantime, I have switched to chicken noodle soup, hospital style, and yogurt. Nothing else seems to sit right. It's not a stomach thing really, it's that everything tastes pasty and chemical-ly. My doctor said, "Welcome to the world of high dose chemotherapy," when I informed him this morning of how I was feeling. Although the effects on my blood are permanent, the effects on my GI tract should be temporary, and my appetite should return hopefully within a week. Though I doubt I've seen the worst of this. My bilirubin is 3.7 today.
I want to take this opportunity to thank everybody who's been keeping up with me. I appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers. I know that I am loved by such wonderful people, and it does indeed give me strength. One of my favorite passages to read when things seem bad is 1 Peter 4. Although this passage is directed toward the first century Christians who were being persecuted, as with all scripture, there is a meaning for the present as well. Verses 12 and 13 read, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed." (NIV 2010 ed.) Much of the rest of it is concerning discipline, but is very affirming.
It's strange the way the whole chapter seems to speak to us in times of crisis. Please, just hold on to the hope that is in Christ, and love each other in all that you do. Life is amazing. Keep praying to all the angels and saints who are in heaven. Remember that "He is not the God of the dead, but of the living." (Mt 22:32) And lastly, "thanks be to God, who hath given us the victory [over death] through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast and unmoveable; always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labour is not in vain in the Lord." (1 Cor. 15:57-ff. Douay)
I want to take this opportunity to thank everybody who's been keeping up with me. I appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers. I know that I am loved by such wonderful people, and it does indeed give me strength. One of my favorite passages to read when things seem bad is 1 Peter 4. Although this passage is directed toward the first century Christians who were being persecuted, as with all scripture, there is a meaning for the present as well. Verses 12 and 13 read, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed." (NIV 2010 ed.) Much of the rest of it is concerning discipline, but is very affirming.
It's strange the way the whole chapter seems to speak to us in times of crisis. Please, just hold on to the hope that is in Christ, and love each other in all that you do. Life is amazing. Keep praying to all the angels and saints who are in heaven. Remember that "He is not the God of the dead, but of the living." (Mt 22:32) And lastly, "thanks be to God, who hath given us the victory [over death] through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast and unmoveable; always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labour is not in vain in the Lord." (1 Cor. 15:57-ff. Douay)
Friday, February 18, 2011
Danger zone!
Before I started Tuesday, I had asked the doctor what the usual preclusions to a successful transplant were and she said 1. Disease recurrence 2. Graft rejection 3. Opportunistic infections. In my case I also have the possibility of liver failure. Those of you who know of my close call back in June of 2009 when I went through my induction know that my usually harmless Gilbert's syndrome (a decreased ability to metabolize bilirubin due to low levels of a certain enzyme, ugt1a) can become a fatal complication if the liver is over-agitated. Excessive amounts of bilirubin in the bloodstream can cross the blood-brain barrier and cause encephalopathy, something I could do without, or sepsis. Normal ranges for bilirubin are between 0.0 - 1.0. Mine is usually in the 1.5-2.5 range which is still safe. During my close call mentioned above my level hit a peak of almost 35.0. Looking back at the trend, my liver was able to tolerate levels below 8.0 fairly well but anything above that severely aggravated the already inflamed liver tissue resulting in hyperbilirubinemia. This is known as neo-natal jaundice in babies. Other, milder, side effects are yellowing of the skin and water retention. Although, these too can be painful if allowed to go unchecked.
My level today crossed over from my baseline to 3.1.
The best way to treat this is with sunshine, lemon juice, tamarind extract, Chinese herbal blends and teas, and lots and lots of water. These are difficult treatments right now because the sun ain't shining, and even if it were I can't go outside; fresh fruits and generally anything uncooked are not allowed on the floor because of potential bacteria; and herbs are a last resort because we have no idea how they'll interact with the chemotherapy. My best chance of keeping this under control is to drink what I can and pass as much as possible through me. It may not sound pretty but I may have to poop my way out of this one!
The inpatient doctor, Dr. Kornblau, just told me what they all say, "we'll keep an eye on it." I know from experience that I must take a more proactive approach. My mom is kind enough to go home and brew some tea for me, and if my levels keep going up we'll have to consider the other options mentioned above along with the medical options of phenobarbitals and perhaps St. John's Wort which can help bili metabolism by supporting the ugt1a1 pathways, although it has other side effects, mostly from mood changes.
So right now raisin bran and prune juice are my friends.
And I continue to say my rosary daily, not for myself, but for all of my loved ones, family and friends, who have children, are having children, or are just big children themselves. Rest assured that I am one stubborn SOB and I ain't gonna give in to any of this nonsense my body wants to push on me. Besides, we know that it really isn't up to me. My Carmelite devotion to "Vacare Deo," emptying one of oneself so the love of God can fill you and work through you, gives me much solace. For as Moses knew, "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be still." (Ex 14:14)
This post was brought to you by the letters B and I. The BlogPress app and my handy-dandy iPhone!
My level today crossed over from my baseline to 3.1.
The best way to treat this is with sunshine, lemon juice, tamarind extract, Chinese herbal blends and teas, and lots and lots of water. These are difficult treatments right now because the sun ain't shining, and even if it were I can't go outside; fresh fruits and generally anything uncooked are not allowed on the floor because of potential bacteria; and herbs are a last resort because we have no idea how they'll interact with the chemotherapy. My best chance of keeping this under control is to drink what I can and pass as much as possible through me. It may not sound pretty but I may have to poop my way out of this one!
The inpatient doctor, Dr. Kornblau, just told me what they all say, "we'll keep an eye on it." I know from experience that I must take a more proactive approach. My mom is kind enough to go home and brew some tea for me, and if my levels keep going up we'll have to consider the other options mentioned above along with the medical options of phenobarbitals and perhaps St. John's Wort which can help bili metabolism by supporting the ugt1a1 pathways, although it has other side effects, mostly from mood changes.
So right now raisin bran and prune juice are my friends.
And I continue to say my rosary daily, not for myself, but for all of my loved ones, family and friends, who have children, are having children, or are just big children themselves. Rest assured that I am one stubborn SOB and I ain't gonna give in to any of this nonsense my body wants to push on me. Besides, we know that it really isn't up to me. My Carmelite devotion to "Vacare Deo," emptying one of oneself so the love of God can fill you and work through you, gives me much solace. For as Moses knew, "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be still." (Ex 14:14)
This post was brought to you by the letters B and I. The BlogPress app and my handy-dandy iPhone!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Wednesday, Day -8
Well, I finally moved into my new apartment on the 11th floor of M.D. Anderson late Tuesday night. The bathroom is a little cramped but it's clean enough. It's the treatment for which I came, and I am receiving it indeed! Now, I've had chemotherapy before, and have tolerated it pretty well, but when they tell you to chew on ice chips for a couple hours so the chemo doesn't burn your mouth from the inside out, you know you're dealing with a whole new class of drug. Interestingly, the drug I took today, Melphalan, is a mustard derivative. You know, war crime stuff. Tomorrow I get a drug called Thiotepa, which requires me to shower several times throughout the day and afterward to prevent the skin from being burned as it can come out in my sweat. Naturally, I follow my orders trusting that the Good Lord has placed me here in the care of these wonderful doctors for a reason.
...and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Rom 5:5)
-from the RSV Catholic 2nd ed.
This and the Douay-Rheims are really the best two translations available with the 2010 NIV update and the NKJV running close behind as newcomers to the biblical realm of scholarly translation attempts, in the name of ecumenism. Although Protestants still refuse to translate 'full of grace' properly in Luke 1:28, these are very readable translations, just as is the evangelical ESV (my favorite evangelical translation) all of which have put 'virgin' back as the correct translation of Is. 7:14. Maybe St. Jerome knew a thing or two about Scripture after all!
...and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Rom 5:5)
-from the RSV Catholic 2nd ed.
This and the Douay-Rheims are really the best two translations available with the 2010 NIV update and the NKJV running close behind as newcomers to the biblical realm of scholarly translation attempts, in the name of ecumenism. Although Protestants still refuse to translate 'full of grace' properly in Luke 1:28, these are very readable translations, just as is the evangelical ESV (my favorite evangelical translation) all of which have put 'virgin' back as the correct translation of Is. 7:14. Maybe St. Jerome knew a thing or two about Scripture after all!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times....
Once the bars come down and the roller coaster car starts moving it's too late to get off the ride until it's over. It started today as I was cleared by my doctor for admission. With every beat of my heart I can hear the chain underneath the car pulling me up this ride's initial incline, clack! clack! clack! instead of the regular ba-dum ba-dum. This morning I signed my consent form, legally releasing the hospital from any liability in the event of the unexpected. Clack! Now I'm doing laundry and packing my overnight bag, my laptop, and some books for what is going to be a four to six week hospital stay. Clack! Clack! Once I get my room assigned to me and the treatment begins the car will be at the top of the hill and the tracks will creak and moan as I prepare to be released for that first long downhill drop. The only thing left for me to do now is throw my arms up in the air and enjoy the ride!
Of course, I'm glad my heartbeat doesn't sound like coconuts!
Of course, I'm glad my heartbeat doesn't sound like coconuts!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
But what about second breakfast?
February 24, 2011 is the date of my Stem Cell Transplant which should rid my life of cancer permanently. Although doctors don't like using the word cure, provided the procedure itself doesn't kill me, I should be cured. Having been diagnosed with leukemia (ALL) back on May 15, 2009, I was put into complete remission at home in El Paso by June 8. Dr. Sumit Gaur is my home oncologist and he is a very capable, caring man. He referred me to UTMDACC, M.D. Anderson in Houston and I have been under the expert care of Dr. Deborah Thomas ever since. Finally, after a year and a half, my medical team has decided that it is in my best interest to proceed with a bone marrow transplant while I am still disease free. Dr. Partow Kebriaei has taken over the responsibility of managing my disease with her world-class transplant team. I will be admitted Tuesday, February 15 to begin the preparatory regimen of marrow-ablative chemotherapy which will effectively kill me. Nine days later, on the 24th, I will receive a transfusion of donor stem cells harvested from my very own mother. Her stem cells will hopefully graft within two to four weeks and begin making blood for me. Until that time I will be dependent on the donation of blood products by generous members of our community. After engraftment takes place I will be closely monitored for a few months until the doctors deem it safe to release me back into the general population. My bone marrow, and my life, will have been rebooted.
In this blog I shall chronicle my treatment and recovery, and also perhaps some of the more interesting anecdotes which happen to cross my path.
Since this is a second chance on life for me, I can't help but be reminded of the witty dialogue between Pippin and Merry in The Lord of the Rings. Peter Jackson's version of Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring has the following exchange between Pippin (Peregrin Took played by Billy Boyd) and Merry (Meriadoc Brandybuck played by Dominic Monaghan) as Stryder (Lord Aragorn played by Viggo Mortensen) prods them onwards:
I know I've had my breakfast, but can I have seconds, please?
In this blog I shall chronicle my treatment and recovery, and also perhaps some of the more interesting anecdotes which happen to cross my path.
Since this is a second chance on life for me, I can't help but be reminded of the witty dialogue between Pippin and Merry in The Lord of the Rings. Peter Jackson's version of Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring has the following exchange between Pippin (Peregrin Took played by Billy Boyd) and Merry (Meriadoc Brandybuck played by Dominic Monaghan) as Stryder (Lord Aragorn played by Viggo Mortensen) prods them onwards:
Aragorn: Gentlemen! We do not stop 'til nightfall.
Pippin: But what about breakfast?
Aragorn: You've already had it.
Pippin: We've had one, yes. But what about second breakfast?
[Aragorn stares at him, then walks off.]
Merry: Don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
Pippin: What about elevensies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?
Merry: I wouldn't count on it.
-from MovieMistakes.com
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