Feeling Bad, Thinking Good, Reading Scripture

The chemo really took effect yesterday and now nothing tastes good. Not even the soup my dad brought me today, which he made using my own recipe! At least this way my mom can eat more of the veggie soup my dad brought because she's going to need her strength in the coming days. General anesthesia is not something to take lightly. In the meantime, I have switched to chicken noodle soup, hospital style, and yogurt. Nothing else seems to sit right. It's not a stomach thing really, it's that everything tastes pasty and chemical-ly. My doctor said, "Welcome to the world of high dose chemotherapy," when I informed him this morning of how I was feeling. Although the effects on my blood are permanent, the effects on my GI tract should be temporary, and my appetite should return hopefully within a week. Though I doubt I've seen the worst of this. My bilirubin is 3.7 today.

I want to take this opportunity to thank everybody who's been keeping up with me. I appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers. I know that I am loved by such wonderful people, and it does indeed give me strength. One of my favorite passages to read when things seem bad is 1 Peter 4. Although this passage is directed toward the first century Christians who were being persecuted, as with all scripture, there is a meaning for the present as well. Verses 12 and 13 read, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed." (NIV 2010 ed.) Much of the rest of it is concerning discipline, but is very affirming.

It's strange the way the whole chapter seems to speak to us in times of crisis. Please, just hold on to the hope that is in Christ, and love each other in all that you do. Life is amazing. Keep praying to all the angels and saints who are in heaven. Remember that "He is not the God of the dead, but of the living." (Mt 22:32) And lastly, "thanks be to God, who hath given us the victory [over death] through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast and unmoveable; always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labour is not in vain in the Lord." (1 Cor. 15:57-ff. Douay)